Still working on my new blog. Whew! what can I say? I barely have the time to concentrate on it alone

Art for you

My studying photoshop is taking my hours away from me if I am not too busy with my work, but I am happy now with my little gained knowledge in editing and even making my own artistic photographs. Hehe. Who knows I could be posting some in deviant art someday? Anyway, I am starting from simple ones but ones that are expressive of my thoughts. They don't portray my exact imagination yet due to my limited skills but I know I am getting there. These photos I am working on will be for my blog ofcourse and I will be sharing it with ones who diligently come and read my blogs. I hope he sees it too and would admire it in such a way I know he would in the earlier years when he was still with me.

The day that never comes

Driving home was a little too emotional for me. I was passing by this old road I used to take on my way to my old job and I remember how I used to admire the clouds from there and even think about it while I wrote him emails. Those days seem to be too gone and I just couldn't drag it back in so I could write again and be happy about reading replies from him. I still admire the skies but I no longer could feel the joy of having to write down my thoughts. I am getting tired now of this monotonous feeling and I don't want to be trapped in it for a long time. I would like to change the way I look at things but I do not also like the way I think when I wanted to divert my thoughts to something else. They only make me feel even sadder or angrier. These are all negative feelings and I know that when things are negative in my head, I am not going through the right direction. I should invite more happy thoughts now.... more hopeful and more worth a smile. The thought that he loves me makes me smile. I shouldn't think he isn't around at all. I should remember that while I am alive, there is always a hope to be happy. In whichever way, I do not know really. But I know I will be happy again.

Lost

I am not good at HTML :0( I am having a hard time trying to make my blog look a little different from the rest but it seems that I don't also have the skill to do so anymore. I have lost everything in time and I am scared that if I don't try to do anything I wish to do now, I would end up with nothing at all . I wanted to be inspired again as I was before. Now, there is nothing but the pain to drive me into writing and the endless hope to lift up my spirits again.

His name, I see it everywhere and his spirit, I could feel in the air most of the time. All I need is a little sign to assure me that I am seeing the right signs and feeling the write spirit around me. Now I am confused even as to who really reads my blogs :0( How I wish he is one of them. I really do not understand myself now as to why after all the stupid things I have been through, I still yearn for the impossible.

...yup still shitting in my pants with this HTML for my new blog. Ill try to finish it by tomorrow.

My love,

I have no words to write for days already. I stared blankly everywhere and I could not find any emotions meaningful enough to make me write. The skies were so dark here and it rained everyday. Every single nimbus cloud just brought me nothing but the same old memories when you still loved me enough to keep me from crying. I wish the tables turn again so that I would feel how much you are at my mercy. You once could not live without hearing from me. Give me your ears again my love before you here nothing but silence... forever.

sarangheyo... yeongwonhi

The Parasol

I remember everyone today from my past work and I miss them a lot. The times when we all had to meet each other at the place we called "The Parasol" and had something to drink. It would be overlooking the place where I had so much memories. My officemates were almost my brothers and sisters. I never knew there would be a time in my life wherein I had to cry and wish I was back to that very moment when I would be telling stories both pointless and not and worry about nothing in the morning. I wish I was back. I wish it is the MRM days again.