I wish you would find me

Cleaner and cooler air in here. But... the city iso so big. I don't know anybody... nor do I know which direction to look at. I stare into the skies now hoping that I would just wake up tomorrow not remembering at all the exact color of his eyes.

I am here my love, and where are you? Finding a chance to see you around is almost next to impossible.

Nice Shoes

I'd like a pair like this and show porn on the screen. Hehe. or football, or basketball. I'd make all eyeballs roll.

:o(

I feel sad again :o( Nothing means anything much about going to Brisbane. It is not like I would be getting off the airport and expecting him to be out there waiting for me with a smile, a very wide hug and warm kisses. I know he must be very happy now and I won't at all try to change that. Ill be cramped up in my own shell forgetting the possibility that I could communicate with him again. :o(

Sick sick sick today too. cant take any antibiotics anymore.

Out of the country job

Brisbane! That's where I am going. Don't know when yet but surely it is a part of my work. Hehe. How cute is that opportunity? I know somebody won't be too happy about this. I might be scaring off the shit out of her mind even once she finds out. But one thing is for sure... I'm not that stupid to create a stir. Nor am I crazy to make a scene by doing something silly. I'll be just a normal visitor who will be working on something as part of my job. Whenever?... Won't tell!

If I chance upon somebody I know... what would I do? Maybe I'd pull out a gun? Nope nope... that is outrageous! Not even worth the thought. Anyway.. I am happy for myself. I leave everything else that transpires to fate.

Hail to the deities of the winds!

Cardinal Zen,

I wanted to thank you and let you know that I am so honored by the thought that you will actually be preparing music and entitle it "Summoning the Winds". Alas!... it is mine.

May you express it with so much truth . And may you let your innate thoughts inspire you into translating the beauty of darkness into artistic languages of mortal souls.

Let them seek enlightenment in what they thought they wouldn't find in the dark!

I wish you luck on the next submission of your work to Cafe del Mar.

Pathetic behavior

I wouldn't want to say this but it is quite so obvious that she is picking on me. She came to see my Friendster and I bet she became outrageous again over things I will never know about. Good luck to you honey. She obviously is still bothered by my existence in this whole wide world of gorgeous "other women". Hehe. I understand why but I don't need to know anyway bout how she behaves after hearing my name or viewing my photos... for nothing aside from him interests me. Her behavior is not interesting to me, nor is her face. I only care about what he says. Funny I had to look at my Friendster again and notice how she has changed her primary photo to that of the three of them. Hahaaa. I did not even click on her profile anymore to have a more detailed view of him. I know how he should look just by looking at his silhouette. I know even the shape of his body and every tiny hair sticking out of his arms. I laugh at it with mockery because she somehow is trying hard to push things to my face. She thought it is the truth that she needs me to see. But... I damn know about everything she wants to show me eversince. What truth does she want me to know? She must've missed the meanings I have set between the lines when I replied to her foul messages. She must've not understood again when I said that I have had the best of my times with him and I need nothing more. I may want more ofcourse but I don't need anything more... if you know what I mean. She could not steal those memories away from me no matter what she does anyway. I don't care about her, nor do I care about anything she does or says. If there is anything pathetic about her life now, I am damn sure it isn't because of me. Nor is it because of him. She just has her own life to live and everyone else around her are just actors in a play.

Blessed

They posted something everybody in her life is proud of on the corporate website- the new Online Marketing Manager!

Dreams of him

He came to me again last night in a dream. He was about to conduct a seminar on "global warming". I saw him standing there and everyone I know around me respected him and looked up to him like a wise man dressed in white. In my mind, I knew I was gonna be with him through the night just after the seminar, so ... visions of sugar plums danced in my head. Funny but he never said a word throughout that seminar. He just sat by the table and looked at all of us. Then he stood up and declared a 10 minute-break. Everyone stood and went out of the room and there was nobody left there but him and I. I looked at him and without a word he cast a smile that only I would know what it really meant. He smiled like that at me before and I know how happy I am to see it again. He looked as sultry as ever (hehe) and I couldn't wait to wrap my arms around him again. In my dream, I loved him so much just as I really do now in my waking life. How I really miss the ancient person of my heart, whom I will never come to forget. Two years.... I wish to see you smile again.