ICQ in my dreams

I woke up to a very dismal day today. I never even felt that it was already 10 in the morning for it was dark everywhere. The wind was so strong outside and all I could hear was the pounding of the rain against our window seal. No birds on the trees,nor playful kids on the street. I used to ignore days like this 8 years ago. I just jumped out of bed so early and rushed all the way to work so I could get the chance to speak with him online before work started. It was like that every single day then. And today, it all came back to me in a dream.

I was online talking to him. I was sitting on a chair with his name written underneath it. I looked all around me and I noticed how I was working again on the same old PC I was using during those days. I saw the same old ICQ window on my screen and he was on the other line talking to me.

Cool: Yes Sweety, I am here... as always po!
Prairiewinds: Really... it's you! How did you get in there again? I thought you left me for good.
Cool: Never po! I could say things I needed to say but deep inside, I could never leave you po. Everywhere I look, I see you. Whatever I do, I remember you. I could never even end a day without checking on you.Everyday, I suffer the harshness of my own words to you.
Prairiewinds: I have missed you so much, I thought you would never ever talk to me again. I have prayed so much for this very day when I would wake up and realize that none of these is but a dream :o(
Cool: I am real my love. My love is real and I will always be with you, dreaming of you, checking on you, loving you. Sarangheyo, my love! Remember that always. Ok?
Prairiewinds: Password please so I would believe it's you. My love?... Buzz... Are you there? Where are you my love?

Then my husband woke me up. He said, " I am here. Don't cry. It's ok, let us forget what happened that night. We are safe now and I am here. We're alive and we will make sure we catch those $%^&*****!!! and I'll beat the shit out of them $%^&*, Stop crying now please. You were just having a nightmare." Then he kissed my tears hoping he could dry it up as quick as he uttered his words. Little did he know that he actually caused my emotions to divert to a much more traumatic one by thinking that I am remembering that incident when we almost got killed.

I turned towards the very gray skies and all I could think of is my love. Where could he be? Why did he suddenly come to my dreams? Does this mean that he is trying to tell me the truth? Or does he mean just the opposite? :0( I wish I could just tell exactly. My pain is irreparable now that I do not hear from him. I just really wish that through this dream, I will be able to determine that he actually still loves me and that he is just not in the position to tell me the same and show me the same affection in the same manner as he usually did.

Stop me from crying now please...........

Have you been feeling something strange for the last 3 days my love? Long ago, I would be surprised when I'd get a call from you out of the blue. You would suddenly be asking me what was going on. You would normally get the vibrations and you would try to make sure I was all right long ago. I am sure that if you cared enough until now, you would've felt strangely uneasy while something wrong was going on with me since Friday. Anyhow, everyone who knew me would be shocked after learning my story. Read through po.

Not a very nice story

Around 10 p.m of September 18, 2009, I and my husband decided to take a little drive all the way from where we live to Tagaytay to take a little time off our busy routine and have a little sight-seeing. Both of us would frequent the lay-by (shoulder) that rests in front of a signage that says “St. Gabrielle Village”. Our favourite spot is along a busy road (Tagaytay Calamba Rd, Tolentino East, Tagaytay City) overlooking the Taal Lake. As usual, we would put up the windows facing the main road and leave down the ones facing the lake so we could get a good view of it while inside. Our car is a Mitsubishi Spacewagon and has an automatic lock system that is always engaged even when the engine is off.

My husband always opts to sit at the back whenever we are parked because it is more spacious at the back and he could rest his legs better. That night was no exception, he sat at the back with me and we both enjoyed our drinks ( Pepsi Max and Fit n’ Right) while enjoying the view and the coolness of the air around us. We were peacefully seated when suddenly two figures came around the corner towards the open windows. Even before realizing that they both had knives in their hands, I already knew what their motives where. At an instant I vociferously tried to grab my husband’s attention and pointed towards them for at that time, he wasn’t even facing the direction where the figures appeared. But that warning I gave him proved to be too late for when he turned to look at what I was pointing at, Assailant 1 already dubbed his sharp knife at him.

There were two of them with knives in their hands. Both of them appeared to be aged between 19-25, slender, short-haired, and brown-skinned. Assailant 1 was about 5 ft. 4 inches tall, was wearing a maroon bonnet hat, did not smell of alcohol but acted more berserk than Assailant 2. He was more slender than Assailant 2 also and perhaps even darker, and had a missing front tooth. The sides of his eyes were chinky-shaped and slightly grew a bit roundish towards the nose-bridge. Assailant 2 was shorter, with short black hair and did not at all have a striking feature that would make me remember his face much.

In panic, my husband swapped positions with me for a reason that was yet unknown to me at that moment. I was left to battle off Assailant 1 who at that time was standing so close to me outside the window and was threatening to jump in the car through the open window. I was trying to stop him from getting in by grabbing his wrists and at the same time pushing him away from the window. While still trying to beg him to not harm us and assuring him that I was going to give him what he wanted from us without any resistance, I was hoping that my husband would take the chance while he still had it, to move back to the driver’s seat and start the engine.

I however noticed that he did not make such a move at all. Instead he remained sitting behind me motionless and screaming “I’m loosing blood” over and over again. By then I have realized he was actually badly hurt. I panicked and turned to my husband and loosened my grip at Assailant 1’s writs. When I turned back to Assailant 1 he was already in the car with us and was pointing his very sharp double-bladed knife at my face. I begged him with more intensity to not hurt us anymore and was telling him that I was actually already going to reach for the things that he wanted and did not have the intention to resist him. He ordered me to tell my husband to not shout and make so much stir and he hit my right cheek with his left fist at the same time. He said he needed our cell phones and all of our cash as quick as possible and that I should give them to his companion who by then was standing outside with his own knife in his hand. When I did just as he said, I tried to beg Assailant 2 to just give me back our ID’s for they wouldn’t need them anyway. He agreed to it and allowed me to actually reach back into the bag and get all the cards that I needed. I had all my credit cards, ID’s and our bank cards back but both of our cell phones (Sony Ericson K770 and Motorolla razor), a black 2 Gig flash drive, my husband’s wedding ring (gold ring with 7 diamonds and my name engraved in it, caused 40K), 3 thousand pesos cash and some of our house bills were all left in the bag with him.

I realized that Assailant 1 was panicking inside the car for the alarm kept on sounding off and he could not unlock the doors and let himself out. In his panic, he tried to reach for the car keys while still not forgetting to keep pointing his knife at my husband. He did not stop threatening my husband and I with another dub of his knife if my husband did not stop wailing. My husband at that time was already panicking at the site of his own blood and was already slightly passing out. I begged the assailants to leave the car but I also have noticed how they were in a state of panic as any passer-by could notice what was going on inside the car since the fog has already receded around us. Assailant 1 started to reach for the locks again in hopes of letting himself out without having to turn his back on us since he also is aware that there is no other way out of the car but through the window again. We could anytime decide to kick him out and he could end up thrown unto a deep gutter just 2 feet away from the car. Assailant 2 tried to help him by removing the car keys from the engine but he also realized that that only caused the alarm to sound off even louder. I tried to get back the keys and literally pulled it off from his hand. He gave it back to me ordering me to stop the alarm. I also suggested that I was going to open the door for Assailant 1 and he could get out of the car safely and run away. I assured them that having them followed was the least of my priority and that I needed to get my husband to the hospital as quick as I could as he has already been loosing so much blood. Assailant 1 tried to threaten us even more by ordering his companion to go and fetch the gun for him so he could just kill us. When the doors was unlocked for them, Assailant 2 begged his companion to get out of the car and he even said to me “ Ma’am sorry, kailangan lang talaga naming ang pera kasi uuwi kami ng probinsya”. And then Assailant 1, while still pointing the knife at my face instructed me to never follow them till they are able to get into their own vehicle. I don’t think they did have an escape vehicle at all. They fled the scene with my husband half dead due to extreme blood loss.

I got out of the car to try to stop other vehicles for help. Nobody did stop for me except for 2 young men on a scooter. I briefly explained to them what went on and begged them to drive us to the hospital if any of them knew how to drive. But none of them could, so they offered to be the ones to call the police for us anyway. I could not drive, my fingers were cut and blood was dripping everywhere. In my panic that we were again left alone helpless, I was only able to drive almost a kilometre away from the scene in search of a police station. But I realized there was none in sight. No hospital either. When I stopped the car near a little bend close to seven-eleven, I sought help from passers-by. There were 3 men in a van (most likely a silver Starex) who asked few questions while noticing blood all over me. I was crying while begging for anybody who could sit in the car with us and actually drive us quick to the nearest hospital. One came down after quite a hesitation and drove us straight to the Tagaytay Hospital and Medical Centre. It was only a matter of 5 minutes when the police mobile arrived in the scene with the 2 young men in a scooter who I asked help from earlier on. My husband was critical in the ER and underwent a 4 ½ hours of major surgical procedure. He underwent blood transfusion and is now recuperating. Our hospital bills have amounted to almost 100 thousand pesos and we are determined to press complaints against these assailants who have in many ways given us a traumatic experience in our once thought, very peaceful and beautiful place- Tagaytay.

Funny, but that yellow plastic bag was not at all there with us when it happened. It must be the bag from the hospital where they placed our blood-soaked belongings.

Now those seat pockets needed to be removed because they said the car stinks like a carcass. The pockets were filled with blood too

The plaid bag wasn't there . That is the one I recall my aunt brought to the hospital with my fresh clothes. I got these photographs from the police files just this afternoon and I just don't understand how they allowed to photograph the car without eliminating the stuff that weren't originally there during the crime.

I was storming mad already with my internet connection when I still did not get a decent one towards the evening. I got so stressed out that I could not finish any task online at all. Now I am not even half way to setting up my new blog site as nothing gets connected when I try to upload the images. My eyes hurt and I wanted to just get a hammer and break the stupid broadband box in front of me. Good thing David Lanz was playing the most relaxing piano tunes in my ears and I was able to shift my anger to the most beautiful thoughts of him. I do miss him a lot and I wish he never does forget me. Sometimes I get a feeling that he is just around and always checking on me as he always have told me in the past. But ofcourse situations do change, and I am aware of the possibility too that those words may no longer be true to these days. :o( I wish to hear from him.

Preparing for the launch of a new blog site

I have been very busy working on this new blog that I have promised for a long time already. I hope I will be able to introduce the link tomorrow. I really have gone so late in doing this due to my overlapping work online :o( . The monsoon has stopped (maybe for a little while only) and I am hoping that it keeps on raining so that I would be more inspired to write my new entries for my blog. Funny, I do like it to rain some more because I only think about my love when it rains. A lot of things come to my head when the skies are overcast. Even the banner image I have created today still says a lot about him. For the love of my life... you inspired me in doing this.

Up Against the Ocean Waves
by: terraincognita11th

Crediting back to:
original lady image: http://faestock.deviantart.com/gallery/
original girl image: http://tracie76stock.deviantart.com/

and to you my love, for the image below and ofcourse for the image of your house that I have also used again as a background.

I always find myself sitting even in the middle of the night in this place in Tagaytay. It is near the different-colored lamp posts overlooking the pretty volcano. I feel peaceful in there. I drive there and stay there even till 12 a.m. I contemplate and think of things I could have done and things I should do just to make myself feel happy about the things I no longer have. I saw how the mist would form thickly on my window shield and I would witness how foggy the place becomes just before the rain starts pouring in. Nice place to be. I wish my love would be just beside me and together be staring out of the window with me.

I did it!

I just finished programming a new website for my client and I am glad she really liked the design and chose it over the ones submitted to her by another designer. I work for this American remotely and we often communicate through emails and skype only. My services were hired mainly for Google Search Marketing and PPC Management but then she thought she needed a fresh website too. I was supposed to take care of the hiring of a designer and programmer but I also could not find readily available ones. So... I decided to help myself with it. I was then surprised by myself. I could not believe I could build a real website too with the little knowledge I have in CSS and HTML. Now that the site is up, I am ready to consider Joomla and maybe someday, Drupal. I could not learn all these in a snap as I am very busy with other things too.

Oh honey look po! I wish I could still tell you about it. I always found it so nice to talk to you about the little things I have accomplished before. I knew you would always smile and praise me for them. I miss you more now that I find nobody to really listen to me the way you always did. I miss the way you loved me po. It is almost 3 am. I need to sleep now. Sarangheyo

I kept them for you

I found some of the little artworks I did from long time ago in my old suitcase while cleaning up my room. I kept everything in there in hopes of showing it all to him one day. Some were done way back in the years when I first met him. Every single dot I drew and every little splash of watercolor I put were all for him. He wouldn't appreciate it perhaps even when I had the chance to show it to him before because I know they aren't that great to boast about even. They might even seem too childish to others and too common too. I don't really have a background in painting and that every artwork I come up with are all just innate. So I decided to find a better chance to show it to him. I kept them till that perfect time comes... but it never did.

Autumn Pines by terraincognita11th

Our Backyard by terraincognita11th


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