10-year-old messengers

i always have all my messengers on everytime i come online for work. it is an ordinary thing to see friends pop in and go off and common for me to apply stealth settings on anyone i did not want to talk to (almost everyone). i like to hide especially when I am busy and i always go invisible on everybody. but today is a different day. when i turned on my computer, my msn messenger came on first, and with it came a window that declared their 10th year anniversary. msn is 10 years old today and it gave away a little gift to anybody using it. this made me think of things i shouldn't have thought of today. I remembered him again. Tears streamed down my cheeks again especially when i realized how alone I feel despite hundreds of contacts in my messengers. deep within me, i have been waiting for him to come online and remember to say those words he would always say to me. i miss those times when he would secretly be waiting for me online and when i did, he would suddenly throw in his loud cyber kisses. it was always difficult for us to say our goodbyes to each other whenever we had to log off. our goodbye sessions would normally run till 20 minutes every single day. gone were those days. my messengers still looks the same. I purposely download the older versions so I wouldn't loose the feel of still coming online just like in the past years. I don't want to wake up to the truth that everything is just simply gone. I still wanted to believe that he is still there checking me out even without my knowledge. how i miss those days and how i miss him most of all :o(