Not Again!

I got a call today, and I did not expect it to be him. I didn't know why he had to ask me why I was bothering them again?

I heard a childish fuss in the background and a little gasp of some mother who didn't want to be even more irritated with her daughter than she already was with her husband.

Why is he acting this way these days? I just don't get how a man whom I once thought to be sensible just suddenly slips into an incomprehensible stupidity. How in the world does he ever come up with an instant impulse to turn to me and suspect me for any message he receives? I don't know what the heck he was talking about even. He caught me unsuspicous that it was him calling, so I answered the phone and listened to his voice while he accused me again of a crime i'm totally oblivious of until now.

Now all I could think of when I remember that call, is that his mind has totally drifted into the realms of obvious insanity. He no longer sounds socially or conventionally correct nor reasonable when he talks. Doesn't he ever stop to think before dialling my number? Jeez! I don't have time for this even.

I am not angry at him for being like this now, but I am disappointed- big time. I wish the tables would turn and he would wake up being in my position. I will be happy when he finally finds out how much pain he inflicts on someone who has not done him any wrong yet completely accused of something. I want him to feel how it is to love in such a way that I do, and yet be treated like a total scumbag. I want him to know how painful it is to be lured into a lifelong trap and suddenly be left totally alone with no escape. I direct this lot to him with utter sincerity, so that when it is already happening, he would no doubt be remembering me and what he has done to me. By then... it would be too late.

I love. I believe there is nothing wrong with that, as long as I know that I am not doing anything that will spoil his own strategies in life. I love, and I want to let him know that when I do, I also respect. Had he drawn the line clearly for us before, I don't think such accident would've happened (finding his number and calling him). The last thing I did was something totally reasonable and conventional for lovers and I don't think any sensible or intelligent person would think I have done something wrong by just trying to be typically sweet and romantic.

How sad my fate has become with him. I never knew that things would turn out this way. How I regret! ... Like never before!