December 6 will soon be coming. As a matter of fact, in just a few days from now. It will officially be 5 years since I have last seen you my love. How long ago is 5 years? I still feel the same love as though I am being loved back in the same intensity, as though I've seen you just this morning. Your image remains as young as five years ago in my mind. You smell just the same as 5 years ago and feel just as tender as last night ... only in my head. My hand starts to feel so numb to anything I touch. It might be the age haha but yeah... I only know how you feel in my hands 5 years ago.
I miss that little mole of yours at the center of your forehead. I miss that little bunch of hair under your lower lip and most of all... i miss that smell of yours through the night and early in the morning. How lucky it must be to be for someone to open the door for you at the end of each day. How lucky the seat must be for carrying your weight while you sit and stare into the skies in deep thoughts of anything so important to you. How lucky must be your clothes to feel your body the entire day through. How lucky is everyone but me? How lucky those strangers must be that you have smiled at them for even just a second during the day.
How lucky is everyone but me :(
You hate me. You have expressed your deepest regret that you have spent any time with me. You have taken back all the nicest of words you have uttered to me by verbally attacking me over the phone. You have abhorred me by denying me in front of her while I was listening. You have loved me wrongly even from the start and I have been mislead to the bitter end.
Now I cannot help but again cry and feel sorry that I have been so very stupid in believing everything you have told me during the happy times. I can hear our music in the background now and I just really really am sooo tired in begging for you subliminally to come back to me. I know it is stupid but yes I do want you more than anything for my heart. I believe that if only I was made the mother of your children, I would make you a happier man. I would love you unconditionally as I love you now. I would always adore you in anyway the others cant. I would respect you in any manner the others wont. I have never felt this way even for anyone else in my life before you. Yes, not even for my first husband. I have forgotten him in just over a year since you came into my life. But with you :( I don't know why you mange to squeeze into my thoughts at anytime during the day. And it does happen so constantly. Everyday never goes without you in my mind my love. I am sad because I am afraid that after all, I am the only one who in fact have loved so dearly through our time together. I can't accept that you are gone this way. When I get frustrated in my life, I always remember you. I do because I believe so much that if only I were with you, I would never be sad. I don't need money. I am sure you could not buy me all the good things in life too... But to me, the most important thing is that, you can give me the things that money cannot buy. Your love to me is the most wonderful thing that any woman could wish for. That is why when I lost it... I felt that I have lost my life and my happiness too.
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