Summoning the Winds

It creeps and it sleeps...it eats its way to the very core of my memory. I see myself right there... slowly being strangled by the dying hands of time. I cannot catch up for the very essence of my youthful affair is gone. I see how the twilight sets before me and the tunes of yesteryears get locked away in an abyss. But here I stand...without you.


I had a little puff of those weeds. I did so coz I was curious. I wanted to find out what the big fuss is all about since I was really young. I know how the old school folks can be sometimes - exaggerated. In my first and 2nd trial, I didn't still get the difference. I didn't know what to expect and he laughed when I asked if I looked any different. But today was different. He explained that pots are not illegal where he grew up and that they are non-addictive just like beer. When he mentioned "beer", I thought... that's a tricky one. I know how beer can be addictive especially when you are young. Well...anywyay I had a nice puff and I think I felt funny. Things started to appear so slow in front of me. I smiled to myself asking.. can that slow drift be any slower that I could actually hold the time in my hands all together again? I went farther into my distant memory till I saw you again. I was attentive enough when I heard your words ring in my ears again- in that time when you said something about weeds...that you once liked them when you were young. ...And so I thought to myself.. it actually does feel good. I felt good. I was alone with you and I could actually see you. Hahha. I think I am loving this. You don't need to drink anymore ever again to feel this way again. I got off beer long ago. I no longer drink as much as I did when I was with you. I guess those times are gone. After all, being a mother is not giving me so much time to do stuff I so normally did when I only had one child to take care of. I so long forgot how to chill and waste so much of my time just to get to this kind of relaxed state that I am in now. To feel this same sensation, I had to drink a lot. I can't believe that in one puff, I am there without the spirits. But one thing is for sure... that no matter how I get there, I still get to that particular point in time where I enjoyed life the most - the times when I could turn and find you there. I must say that with all the people in our lives now and all those little add-ons... I still remember how we both were and how I exactly felt when we were together. I know that will never come back... but how I wish it ended better than it did. How I regret the kind of ending we've brought our story to.