Misconstrued

All this time... I am missing him. That wave comes to me especially at dusk when all I see in the horizons are orange clouds trapping the last beam of sunset in their memories. I stare longer till the crimson skies turn to purple and black. I do get very sad from time to time for I know that he has clearly misunderstood a great deal about me. He does not know much about me after all. He thought I am too fussy bout anything around me like normal high-society girls would be. He did not know that it would always be OK for me even if he did not order the expensive foods off a menu book of an expensive hotel restaurant for me. He did not know that I would sometimes (most of the time) prefer to walk along a dusty roadside than be in a mall shopping for anything most women would like to waste their money on. He did not know that I think about every single penny he leaves out for tips. He did not know that I know how much he does sacrifice when he gets tickets to come and see me. He does not know that I did think about his responsibilities for him whenever he starts drifting away in madness with me. He did not know that I really am OK sleeping in a tent if there wouldn't be any hotel around as long as I am with him. He did not know that I did think of his health more than his gadgets or looks. He doesn't know that I did think he needs to see a doctor to check out why he always does had backaches and trembling hands. He just doesn't know that I did know he barely thought of himself as long as he sees each and everyone of his loved-ones are happy. He did not know that I know he has problems he would rather not tell me about for fear that it might ruin our time together. He might be right that I do like to buy expensive and branded things, but I do because I find it more practical to spend one time on something durable than twenty times on any cheap bargains. He doesn't know that I am a hard-worker at home. I am not like anybody who would rather sit at home and do their nails while watching tv. My hands now justify that fact. I like a clean home and I spend most of the time in the kitchen preparing all the food with love for anybody I cared for. When I go to the grocery store, I make sure I choose the best for my family even if it means I would have to leave off the thought of getting myself a new phone. I think of their health and happiness when it comes to the foods I prepare for them. I hardly sit at home coz there would always be something to work on for them. I hate specks of dirt on any single tile in the bathroom. I like it clean and dry and dirt-free all the time so that when anybody stepped on or touched anything, they would be free from any microbes that could make them sick. Being sick is too expensive these days.
He doesn't know that I am always thankful to him even when he has hurt me so much in the end. I still give him the benefit of the doubt for saying those things to me. I make myself believe that he was just angry at that time he did not know what he was saying. He does not know that in my heart, I will always love him no matter how bad and wrong he thinks of me now. I think about him in many good ways and I only mean wellness for him and the people he chose to be with. He is the luckiest man in the world who ever did commit any mistake in his life for no matter what the outcome was ... he ended up being loved as much as he was loved before. He ended up being him with all the good memories that only I could think for him. I caught everything he threw away for good. I caught myself ... for him. Cheers to --- "What if?"