Summoning the Winds

i went through all the letters you have sent me before.. some hurt so bad but yes i have realized you spoke of the truth. there were many things that left you unhappy of me, my love... and there were many things too that made you really mad at me. but i really wanna overlook all those and just think of the happy things only. I am sad coz i wanted to be the one who could ever make you happy but through the years I have realized how i have lost the spot to your loved ones in your life. i have done many things in thinking that i cannot see no future in your actions towards me as i was always considered an outsider. you have spent and sacrificed a lot for me and i cannot deny that. but how i wish i could return them to you. these days, i look from the top, i can only see from a birds eye view of how everything turned out so sour i cannot even forgive myself for my existence now. you have no idea how you haunt me and all i wanted to do now is have that chance to speak with you again.. my soulmate. my love..my life..my happiness. there are so many things you will never comprehend in me but i also know how you might not care anymore... and that is what breaks my heart so much. i have things and people who make me happy now but that part about a soul that can only be comforted by my soul mate remains cold. i have not seen the end till it came to me. it crashes me every single day.. i cannot live like this.