ICQ in my dreams

I woke up to a very dismal day today. I never even felt that it was already 10 in the morning for it was dark everywhere. The wind was so strong outside and all I could hear was the pounding of the rain against our window seal. No birds on the trees,nor playful kids on the street. I used to ignore days like this 8 years ago. I just jumped out of bed so early and rushed all the way to work so I could get the chance to speak with him online before work started. It was like that every single day then. And today, it all came back to me in a dream.

I was online talking to him. I was sitting on a chair with his name written underneath it. I looked all around me and I noticed how I was working again on the same old PC I was using during those days. I saw the same old ICQ window on my screen and he was on the other line talking to me.

Cool: Yes Sweety, I am here... as always po!
Prairiewinds: Really... it's you! How did you get in there again? I thought you left me for good.
Cool: Never po! I could say things I needed to say but deep inside, I could never leave you po. Everywhere I look, I see you. Whatever I do, I remember you. I could never even end a day without checking on you.Everyday, I suffer the harshness of my own words to you.
Prairiewinds: I have missed you so much, I thought you would never ever talk to me again. I have prayed so much for this very day when I would wake up and realize that none of these is but a dream :o(
Cool: I am real my love. My love is real and I will always be with you, dreaming of you, checking on you, loving you. Sarangheyo, my love! Remember that always. Ok?
Prairiewinds: Password please so I would believe it's you. My love?... Buzz... Are you there? Where are you my love?

Then my husband woke me up. He said, " I am here. Don't cry. It's ok, let us forget what happened that night. We are safe now and I am here. We're alive and we will make sure we catch those $%^&*****!!! and I'll beat the shit out of them $%^&*, Stop crying now please. You were just having a nightmare." Then he kissed my tears hoping he could dry it up as quick as he uttered his words. Little did he know that he actually caused my emotions to divert to a much more traumatic one by thinking that I am remembering that incident when we almost got killed.

I turned towards the very gray skies and all I could think of is my love. Where could he be? Why did he suddenly come to my dreams? Does this mean that he is trying to tell me the truth? Or does he mean just the opposite? :0( I wish I could just tell exactly. My pain is irreparable now that I do not hear from him. I just really wish that through this dream, I will be able to determine that he actually still loves me and that he is just not in the position to tell me the same and show me the same affection in the same manner as he usually did.

Stop me from crying now please...........